postmodernpilgrim

spending holiday season in Michigan, the state shaped like a mitten. it has been cold, snowy, rainy, foggy, and warmish since i arrived on Christmas day to join my wife and kiddo. my wife is a Michigan native (Michigander) and we make a yearly retreat to the frozen tundra (or closest thing to it for me) for Christmas and New Years. it has been fun spending time with my wife in her natural element and seeing friends and family. happy holidays to all three of you who follow the blog. here is the most recent documentation of growth (three weeks and counting). this new year, in addition to my previous claim at making 2009 a year of growth for me, i am adopting one more resolution or habit: to pray daily for peace. i am not attempting to make any type of political claim or move here, just to genuinely act on my desire to see peace break out all over the world. a close friend and confidant of mine continually echoes the contemplatives with his advice, "If you want to truly affec...

recently attended College Union's Refresh 2008 at the Woodlands UMC in The Woodlands, Texas. This is an annual convergence of UM campus/college ministers organized by College Union, a conglomeration of UMs currently in ministry on college campuses or with college students/young adults. my wife has attended this conference in the past and raved about its impact on her ministry so i decided to attend along with her this year. i went in with relatively no expectations, still coming down from my NYWC high. i was not disappointed. this conference was truly refreshing in a number of ways. first and foremost, it was compact. held in The Loft facility at Woodlands UMC, general sessions, small group sessions, and worship was all located in one building which made it remarkably easy to remain focused and connected btwn events. The Loft also provided free wi-fi (which was not a feature at NYWC) which assisted all those in attendance connection with the larger communities they are a pa...

here is 6 days growth. my son said this morning, "your beard is pinching me!" i have received some comments regarding my last post which included an excerpt from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird . The comments centered around Lamott's observations re: perfectionism being the voice of the oppressor, the Wesleyan theological term "Christian Perfection", and the United Methodist understanding that we are moving on to "perfection." i don't think that by sharing Lamott's observations i have called Wesley's theology into question or compromised my own understanding of "Christian Perfection." as i understand Wesley, his move towards "perfection", or the acquisition of "sanctification" (though Wesley seems to believe that this could be a fleeting acquisition at best) is a process or journey made by one through grace alone and that one who achieves "perfection" is not in the state permanently and therefore is...

here is me after three days growth. its a work in progress. read below for Anne Lamott's view of making a mess of one's life only to discover one's true meaning. enjoy. Make a Mess, Discover Your Life By Anne Lamott "Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it. Besides, perfectionism will block inventiveness and playfulness and life force (these are words we are allowed to use in California). Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderful...

to preface this post, i want to say that i pray for those directly affected by the recent woes of the auto industry: the middle class workers and management that will most certainly feel the sting of the impending decisions made by our government regarding bailout. i am not an unfeeling robot, political party loyalist, or ideological absurdist. i am a caring, compassionate Christian who is genuinely seeking to live in a manner that facilitates bringing about the kingdom/commonwealth of God on earth as it is in heaven. that being said, i feel that i would be hypocritical if i criticized one institution while sparing another which seems to be in a similar position. i have given the institutional church and organized religion enough of my attention, often criticizing its leadership and members for allowing this institution to become irrelevant, inefficient, and devoid of any real fix on what is going on in the world around it. i have criticized this institution for being 20-30 years ...

after prayerful consideration and a great deal of discernment, i have decided to enter into a season of growth. this decision has, in part, been spurred on by my recent completion of my Masters of Divinity degree. due to my passion for life-long learning and my unending yearning to deepen my own understanding of the seen and unseen world around me, i want to spur myself on to reading, engaging in active discussion, and embarking upon projects that facilitate growth. one of these projects will be to assist in the planting of community and individual gardens over the next year that i pray will garner bountiful yields and feed not only hungry stomachs but hearts, minds, and souls hungry for community. i have also challenged myself to continue to read texts that challenge me theologically, philosophically, politically, and ideologically. i have also challenged myself to practice spiritual practices in a much more disciplined and creative manner over the next year, including but not li...

from Australia...why can't we American UMs do something cool like this? click here

shaved again, and not just my face this time. had an idea to shave off my beard again as i caught a glimpse of myself in the window walking down the street of nashville but really was not prepared for what was in store for me when i attempted to cut my hair. to save money and just as a matter of principle, i cut my own hair (there are certain services that one should pay for and there are others that are complete luxury, especially when one prefers a short haircut like the one i have sported around for the last couple of years). there are inherit dangers to this, however. as i fired up the clippers and proceeded to trim up my hair, i went into it with wild abandon. as i turned to look in the mirror i realized that i had put on the 1 guard instead of the 2 guard. though my wife strongly encouraged me to turn my mistake into a mohawk, i instead just continued on. a little chilly but not so bad. ironic, however, since i just left a conference which i claimed was the largest conglo...

first of all, some more thank yous... -Gavin Richardson and FUMC, Hendersonville Student Ministry for letting me creep around their Sunday night program and "The Corner." it is awesome to see an awesome youthworker in ministry action with their students. Gavin, thanks for allowing me to lift you up as one of my student ministry heroes. -Jeff McCormick for not providing me with things to do around Nashvegas, would have only stressed me out. -Archie Honrado for leading an amazing prayer walk around downtown Nashvegas and all those who served as spiritual directors for the conference -Dr. Matthew, Nancy, and Emma Sleeth for making the drive to hang out with 10-12 peeps and talk about loving the Creator by taking care of creation -to the people of Nashvegas, especially those in the service industry; thanks for putting up with bad tipping coupled with a healthy dose of over-zealous friendliness -Mark Yaconelli for reminding me to let go and just dance after having driven ten hou...

so, wifi is apparently a commodity here in Nashvegas, it is not as plentiful as the live music and bbq (which is vastly inferior to that of Texas bbq, that's even coming from a vegetarian). but i digress. NYWC (National Youth Workers Convention), notoriously the largest gathering of bald-headed mean with facial hair, has been the high-energy, spiritually re-activating event that it always has been for me. from the prayerwalk we took around downtown on Saturday morning to the sessions with Shane Claiborne, Tony Campolo, and Andrew Marin to the spiritual direction i got from a good friend, Brent Parker to spending time with the amazing CTCUMC youth workers who are here to spending time with my beautiful wife to getting to know youthworkers from all across the country this event is outstanding. speaking of the Tony Campolo, Shane Claiborne, and Andrew Marin super-session, it was heart-breakingly awesome to finally hear someone speak openly and honestly about reaching out in love a...

"my life is my message." mahatma gandhi

Gearing up for this usually outstanding, energizing, contemplative, rejuvenating event. Attending Nashville, Tennessee version. Really looking forward to worship and some general sessions and seminars, but mainly the "sanctuary" option they are offering this year to explore lectio divina, prayer with icons, creative prayer with art, and a prayer walk around the city. I will update the blog so you can see how things are going day by day. I covet your prayers as this event has proven in the past to be remarkably cathartic and revealing b/c of the fact I actually get to retreat from the day-to-day grind and open my ears, heart, mind, and body to God. To any friends in Nashville, look me up and we can hang.

recently as i was enjoying a plateful of sopes at my new favorite mexican food restaurant (Esperanza's on Park Place and 8th in Fort Worth), i glanced over to see a young man wearing a t-shirt that read "BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS" on the back. i thought, wow i really like that and began to wonder what the front of the shirt said, as his back was to me the entire meal. as he got up to leave, he turned to reveal a Police Department logo on the front of his shirt. the shirt seemed to be created to honor fallen officers as the logo included a black stripe. i wondered, was this what Jesus was thinking when he shared this with the crowds? was he referring to this type of "keeping the peace?" i am certainly not implying that we should refrain from remembering those who have fallen in the line of duty as soldiers or that police officers or that officers should not be thanked for the countless hours they spend serving and protecting our communities. i am simply ...

"The possible's slow fuse is lit by the imagination." - Emily Dickinson

not a food critic by any means but here are a couple of "celebrity endorsements" of two great Funkytown eateries: recently re-visited my favorite sweet spot in Fort Worth: The Cupcake Cottage. Judge me how you will but there are deeper reasons to why i love this sweet shack other than the creamy, homemade frosting. If you hit their website: http://www.thecupcakecottage.com/ you'll see that they set out a menu in advance, take reservations, and close when they are sold out of inventory. by turning their backs on mass-production and extended hours, they avoid over-production and waste. if you follow their guidelines, you can get what you want when you want it. though i find it more fun to take a chance and see what's available when you get there, that choice does come with the possibility that you may miss out altogether if you get there too late. regardless, check out these responsible purveyors of the sweet stuff in Fort Worth. on the same note, if you haven...

on february 1st, will we still be embroiled in whether or not Obama is a Muslim, waiting for his college roommates or financial supporters to come out of the woodwork and take over the u.s. or will we be holding prayer meetings for John McCain's health? will anyone have made a connection between ayers, acorn and Obama? will anyone have any better of an idea about who ayers and acorn really are? will we be dealing with a continually declining economy by protecting our own interests and stuff or will we pull out of this downward spiral together by joining together and sharing our resources with those in need? will big corporations and those most responsible for our economic downturn be receiving another bailout or will they be held responsible by those in power to repent for their sin? will anybody be able to afford healthcare? will we finally give up trying to build up financial portfolios and 401(k)s? will christianity still be interested in building empire? will conservative...

okay, i don't like to use this forum to air my political propensities and leanings but i feel compelled to offer some observations as we round the turn towards november 4th. of foremost importance, i will be thrilled to see leadership change hands from the current misguided and misdirected administration to someone with some spark and energy. that being said, after watching debates, speeches, and ads the difference between the two candidates is not as striking as they would have you believe. both parties WILL RAISE YOUR TAXES. do not deceive yourself into thinking that one party or the other will reduce or cut taxes to a point that will make life more than bearable for all americans, they will both raise your taxes. next, the amount of real change that either party will be able to bring to washington will be minimal at best. not much changes in washington and, for the most part, the american people like it that way. massive shifts in ideology or political philosophy would ca...

These guys rock! Check them out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8 Thanks to Reverend Meredith Bell for bringing this to my attention.

rockin my new ink after wife and i got a wild hair (w/o the young one around) to get inked together, her first my second. also wanted to pass on a blog to you from friends living together in the hemphill area of fort worth in a community called tolstoy house. one member off in oregon learning to garden and live sustainably off the grid. the link to the site is here h ttp://www.tolstoyhouse.com/ check it out when you get a chance. they are looking for assistance in the form of a relational tithe from those who are seeking to build the kingdom by serving others. peace to you my friends.

So since my last post, I attended an event sponsored by the Central Texas Conference of the United Methodist Church called "Missing: Young Adults" that focused on one of the missing demographic groups within area United Methodist congregations and offer local congregations ideas/strategies/information to reach a generation of adults who have grown up with a negative image of Christianity. The keynote speaker was David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Research Group and one of the authors of the recent book, unChristian . Getting to spend time with presenters, friends, and with Kinnaman himself offered some great insights into how, as a young adult with a negative image of Christianity, I can work with and within the church to reach other "outsiders" who share this idea. During one of the presentations, a speaker noted that United Methodism finds it roots in the minds of two young adults (brothers, in fact) who also saw the church they were a part of missing oppor...

wanted to use this opportunity to say a huge thank you to all the people of West, Texas for another fine WestFest. this year was filled with the same polka, pivo, pastries, and people that make this one of the premiere summer festivals (and my favorite summer activity next to hanging on beautiful lake Whitney) of central/hill country Texas. Brave Combo and Polka Freak Out rocked again under the tent and the people were colorful and friendly as usual. for anyone looking for some good clean labor day fun in 2009, i highly recommend this end of summer, family-friendly festival that takes place over labor day weekend each year. special thanks to Sarah and Jeff McCormick for making it our third annual WestFest together. check for pics on facebook soon! until next labor day, "Jak Se Mas!"

realize i've already posted on Dorothy Day and possibly The Catholic Worker, but am continuing to read more and more about Day, her counterpart Peter Maurin, those that were influenced by their work, and those who influenced their work.  strongly recommend that you pick up something (even if it is just the wikipedia post about Day, Maurin, or Catholic Worker movement) and read it.  remiss that i had not picked up something about this sooner.  Day, Maurin, and the Catholic Worker paper/movement have influenced many in the neo-monastic movement and should inspire all of us, regardless of religion, denomination, or belief system to live a more genuine, authentic, holistic, agrarian lifestyle.   if Day not your cup of tea, read Wendell Berry, whom i've also written about before.  

sorry haven't posted in a while, been busy working on multiple items and small projects.  recently said yes to exciting new opportunity with local UMC to foray back into youth ministry.  looking to provide something new and different with this endeavor, not just the run-of-the-mill programs, singing kum-by-yah and day trips to six flags (though six flags will most likely be in the mix there somewhere).  would really like to work at strengthening our faith together as we ask the good, tough questions of faith and challenge each other to live holistically (as individuals and as a community) as we experience the love and grace of God through Jesus Christ.  please pray for congregation, youth, and me as we enter into this new endeavor together.  

Recently, concerned citizens and residents of prominent and not-so-prominent Fort Worth neighborhoods have joined together to ask the city to take a step back and look at the long-term effects of urban drilling for natural gas. I personally think that it is worth the wait as well, looking at environmental effects (especially to human health and groundwater) and long-term economical effects rather than just cashing in and looking at the short-term. Full story here:  http://cbs11tv.com/local/Fort.Worth.Drilling.2.790366.html

"God loves us so perfectly, God lets us be the heroes. God lets us wrestle with the angel of Yahweh, lets us struggle with God and win. When we try to let go and give our life to God, God gives it back to us. Should we be surprised? That's what love does. That's the only thing you can get excited about when you're in love--giving your life to the other and seeing enjoyment in the other. That's the union toward which God is calling us. The lover delighting in the beloved and the beloved delighting in the lover."

"The church is a whore, but she is my mother."  - attributed to St. Augustine Just finished reading Robert Coles' autobiography of Dorothy Day before I embark upon reading Day's own account of her life,  The Long Loneliness.   Coles transcribes tape recorded conversations he had with her before her death in 1980 along with historical information from other texts (including Loneliness and other works by and about Day) as well as his own observations about her life from a psychological perspective to provide the content for the book.  The result is an engaging introspection of Day as she reflects on her life and the impact that it made on the spiritual and political landscape of twentieth-century America.   In the chapter entitled "The Church Obeyed and Challenged", Coles engages Day regarding her choice to become Catholic and the struggle between her own spirituality, sense of social justice, and the often dogmatic and hierarchical nature of the Roman Catholi...

Driving behind a truck today that had a window decal that read "Jesus is Whatever You Need."  At first I thought, "Well that is one way to look at it."  But then, as my morning went on, it continued to play over and over again in my head.  This decal that I wanted to quickly dismiss would not get out of my head.  I wanted to dismiss it because I supposed it was saying that Jesus is whatever you want Jesus to be, a kind of turn on the gospel of prosperity or the gospel of me.  But I began to think that there might be some validity to what it says.  It doesn't say Jesus is whatever you want , it says need.   There is a chasm of difference between want and need.   I would venture a guess from watching TV and reading the newspaper that it seems the world wants a Jesus who pats us on the back and tells us everything is alright we have more than most, that the world really centers solely upon us and our needs while supplying us with anything our heart desires.  Jesus ...

Sorry haven't posted in a while, been busying finishing up paper on monastery experience and playing single dad for a week.  Thought this quote on peace would be apropos  for the week.  Will post again soon.   "Perhaps peace is not, after all, something you work for, or ‘fight for.’ It is indeed ‘fighting for peace’ that starts all the wars. Peace is something you have or do not have. If you are yourself at peace, then there is at least some peace in the world. Then share your peace with everyone, and everyone will be at peace." Thomas Merton, from  Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander

I recently caught Deep Water,  the Donald  Crowhurst biopic on PBS.  It tells the story of Crowhurst, a  British   businessman   and amateur  sailor  who died while competing in the  Sunday Times Golden Globe Race , a  single-handed, round-th e-world   yacht race . Crowhurst had entered the race in hopes of winning a cash prize from the  Sunday Times . Instead, it is believed that he encountered difficulty early in the voyage, and secretly abandoned the race while reporting false positions, in an attempt to appear to complete a circumnavigation without actually circling the world. His boat,  Teignmouth Electron, was found without him on board as well as sailing logs (believed to have been doctored) and personal journals of his experience .   The readings from the journals, that frame testimony from friends and family as well as news and personal film footage of Crowhurst and family, are especially haunting.  I have previously blogged about my fondness for the book and recent movie ...

on·to·log·i·cal  ( ŏ n't ə -l ŏ j' ĭ -k ə l)  adj.   1.     Of or relating to ontology. 2.     Of or relating to essence or the nature of being. Of or relating to the argument for the existence of God holding that the existence of the concept of God entails the existence of God. func · tion · al (f ŭ ngk'sh ə -n ə l)   adj.   1.     a. Of or relating to a function.             b. Of, relating to, or indicating a mathematical function or functions. 2.     Designed for or adapted to a particular function or use: functional architecture. 3.     Capable of performing; operative: a functional set of brakes. 4.     Pathology Involving functions rather than a physiological or structural cause. from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition . Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 25 Jun. 2008 As I have continued on the quest to discern my own calling into ordained ministry, I have had the opportunity to dialogue w...

Check out a prayer that I picked up at St. Gregory's, been using each morning this week and find extremely helpful in centering and focusing my prayer for peace.  Posted link so you can explore the entire Sisters of Providence website as well.  May it add blessing to your life.   http://www.sistersofprovidence.org/cgi-bin/site.pl?3208&dwContent_contentID=254

Shaved my beard and cut my hair yesterday.  Had been growing for nine months, so the whole experience was as close as I come in my life to gestation and birthing something.  Feel lighter and a whole lot cooler.  Feel, however, that something missing (like my chin) so let June 23rd, 2008 be set as the new first day back to full growth.  It should be an interesting nine months.  If you see me in the meantime, please do not point and laugh.   Don't really know why I as growing it out.  Many people assumed I was protesting something or making a point with my beard.  Honestly, I just got tired of shaving on a daily basis.  In the end, I think that I grew out my hair and beard to make the statement that I no longer care what anyone else thinks of me.  In my recent trip to St. Gregory's Abbey, looked over some of the sayings of the Desert Fathers.  One of them stated that a holy man who had been in silence for years was alerted that an important person wanted to hear from him.  The ho...

"Lord our God, through Your loving kindness,  hear and answer our prayers as they rise to You in this offering. Through Your saints, Benedict and Scholastica , You have called many to the school of Your service. We ask that many other men and women, throughout the world,  would hear and answer Your call in our monastic way of life,  especially here at St. Gregory's Abbey. Grant each of us the gift of holy perseverance-that we may prefer nothing to Your love. This we ask through Christ our Lord.  Amen." -Prayer for Vocations, recited at the conclusion of Vespers- After spending the past week at St. Gregory's Abbey in Shawnee, Oklahoma in fervent prayer and academic focus upon monastic spirituality, it has been a tough couple of days acclimating back to life as usual here in the real world.  It is hard to explain how deeply this experience has impacted me but I will make an attempt.   First, I came to this experience with the presupposition that one would pursue monasti...

“Something is  over.  In the deepest levels of my existence something is finished, done.    My life is divided into before and after.”  Nicholas Wolterstorff , Lament for a Son "Vere tu es Deus absconditus : Truly you are a hidden God." - Blaise Pascal Taking three weeks to look at how Scripture handles the ONE thing that I most fear; death, was an interesting prospect to begin with.  It was an emotional and theological roller coaster but one that I definitely came out of the other end enjoying. The class was deeply rewarding and helpful in almost forcing me to look into the mirror and come to terms with my own mortality.  In the end, I know that "I see through a glass darkly" on this subject but see much clearer than I did when the course began.  After looking through literature, Scripture, film,  art, and music I have found that, though I possess no more concrete answers than I did at the beginning of the course, in the end I have come to these observations: Go...